I am Selvi, Engineer by profession, born and brought up in a Hindu family, fortunately God had a plan in life and has chosen me from my birth, He placed me in a Christian school, so the seed of God’s word fell on my even in my childhood. Days passed by, I didn’t take Christianity so seriously in my life. I came to my college days and it was all exciting me as a young teenagers do. During my bubbly years of life, I came to know many friends and one of them was a Christian friend whom I eventually fell in love with. Although it was a lustful love, God used every purpose of my life for His glory. The earthly love didn’t last long but the because of my boy friend I came to know more about Jesus and that love lasted in my life.
During my college days I was practicing both Hinduism as well as I had liking for Jesus, I would say that my inclination towards Christianity was mainly due to my liking for my boy friend. The truth became evident when my family brought an alliance for me I had to expose my affair to my parents. But my boy friend behaved strangely and avoided me, refused to pick my calls. I had no other go but to call his dad, he too didn’t want to help me or hear my plea. Being a traditional Indian girl I thought he will be the only man in my life, with his strange behavior my only companion was my tears. I had to plea to all my Hindu gods. During my lonely days as I was crying one day, on my bedroom wall I saw the shadow like image on the wall that was the cross of Jesus. I recollected my little relationship with Jesus, I started to pray to Him, even that time my only need was to get my boy friend back, so I was only praying for my need.
I watched all Christian channels to know more about Jesus, Angel TV helped me to build my understanding on Jesus and His second coming which could happen soon. So my relationship with Jesus started to grow but for only one reason, that to get my boy friend back, I too made an owe to Jesus if I marry that boy I will change my religion to Christianity, what a fool I was not realizing the true love of Jesus who gave His life for me. When I was desperate I switch back to pray to my Hindu gods as well. I would say I was not steady in my mind.
One day I received a call from my boy friend and he gave a false promise that he will marry me when he gets a job. I believed and I was happy for a while. During that time, I knew a school friend of mine who gave me the bible, what a precious gift it was I will not forget her; she is happily married and settled in Singapore. God bless her for the timely supply. Days passed by I received a call from my boy friend that shattered my heart and my being, he called to inform me that his family had fixed a girl for him and he has to marry that girl. In my heart I could not forget him, I begged him not to dump me, so to convince me he said he had to marry that girl for family’s sake and later he would marry me. At this time, I came to know his true color but I could not forget him, so I was desperate to marry him somehow.
At my home there was pressure to marry someone and here my boy friend was not willing to marry me and I couldn’t think of anyone apart from my boy friend. I was like caught up in the midst of the wild wind. I didn’t have any other option to prove my case, so I went ahead to commit suicide but my Lord Jesus knew when I should depart this world so he saved me. My parents didn’t have other choice but to let me marry as per my will. My dad all through his life hate Christians and don’t have good opinion about them. Now he had to oblige due his last child’s wish. I was asked to call the boy and begin the discussion, I thought this is a good sign; I called my boy friend with my eagerness that somehow he will marry me, now my one major huddles of convincing my parents is over. What waste of my life believing this false person as my boy friend, he refused to talk to me, I had to reach him through my friends. I received the communication through a common friend that he was not at all serious with his relationship with me. Now how will I face my family? What will they think of me, I was tussled again, I had to inform to my parents about the failure in my relationship with him. With this my dad was mad at me and also mad at all the Christians.
During this period of uncertainties, my dad used all abusive word against Christians and I was slowly getting close to Jesus, now my prayers are all slowly changed. I got a great Christian friend Sudha
One day I could not tolerate the tortures of my family against my willingness to accept Christ they were misunderstanding my faith is just for my ex-boy friend. Who will understand that the greater love has overtaken the fake ones? Old things have gone passed and everything has become new. I have reached a point where Christ alone is enough for me, nothing else matters. I have decided to meet a pastor, I didn’t know anyone, so I had to travel 700kms where Sudha is living, I never used to travel alone but by His grace I reached there and met a pastor where he prayer for me, that day was the more unforgettable day in my life, I felt the Holy Spirit descended on me, I could feel the fire blaze pass through me. I knew I was anointed and my sin are forgiven. I felt free in myself. When we finished the meeting, my dad was there following me. He was certainly not happy to see me coming from Church. The trouble started in my life with my family.
Satan was not at all happy with my new and beautiful relationship with Jesus. All I want is Him alone, nothing else matter. My old thoughts for my boy friend haunt me but my love for Jesus is my priority. At home there were restrictions now more than ever. They started to watch me closely, I cannot pray openly, now I have to wait for my dad to sleep, I start my prayer at 1am, so close with Jesus, I pray dad all I want is you, even if you take me now I will be happy with you.
My family planed to bring me back into Hinduism, Satan was by their side, they went to many magicians to set some spell for me, like placing metal pieces, lemon on my bed and dress etc. Sometime I could hear Satan forcing me to worship him. I had gone through real struggle in opposing such voices. I was all alone fighting for my faith. I will call Sudha who would fast and pray for me. I could stand against all temptations, tortures and pressures from family and evil spirits.
What a great God we have I received verses of assurance like. Isaiah 49: 15&16 - 15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! 16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.
Promises saved me and gave me hope. Life was difficult, the more I try to come closer to Jesus; Satan will play a trick through my parents to set some schemes for me. At that time even though I want to pray I cannot pray my concentration will be diverted, sometime fear will cover me; sometime confusions will try to get back to me. I have even doubted if Jesus is true or not but God is so patient with me. Many bible verses boosted my faith. It was like a tug-off war between my faith and Satan.
One day I got the guts to inform my parent that I will worship only Jesus and no one else. With this I had to go through many struggle, my relatives don’t consider me as normal, they mock at me. I felt that I ex-communicated for my Christ’s sake. But I kept on receiving many promises in my life; I will share those verses below.
Isaiah 30: 19-22 People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. 20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” 22 Then you will desecrate your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, “Away with you!”
Psalm 91:14 “Because he[a] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
Jeremiah 39: 17 But I will rescue you on that day, declares the LORD; you will not be given into the hands of those you fear.
Phil 1: 28&29 without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him.
Now, I am praying for my family to know the love of Christ, I know that my Jesus called me to testify before many people and He spoke to me that I will be a useful vessel for Him. Yes I do get fear, temptations, torture from my family, yet Christ lives in me. Jesus brought many other friends to support me and to teach me. I am growing in Christ every day. My fear has gone now I don’t fear. I want to be sincere to Christ and I am waiting for the opportunity to share my testimony and the words of God He is giving me.
I am waiting for the right partner in my life, whoever Jesus brings to me I will marry and I want to serve Him alone.
Praise be to Jesus name alone. Bless though who read this testimony! In Jesus name Amen!