Regardless of the mentality that men and women are equal, we as Christians must realize that regardless of what the world says, the bible is very clear as to the qualities, characteristics, roles and responsibilities of a godly man and a virtuous woman.
When they are working together in harmony, imagine how much glory God receives from the relationship.
We will notice today that there are certain proverbs and commands that are given directly to the man and not the woman. Some of these Proverbs, such as 7, are advice to men particularly because Satan loves to tempt men in ways that he knows women usually are not tempted.
1. A Self-Controlled Man
It is a sad reality, but I can say almost every woman I have ever met has had the experience of a man cheating on her.
By far, the number one quality of a godly man is not just monogamy, but rather one who has his lusts under control. Cheating on a woman may cause a woman to develop low self-esteem, although she may be beautiful. The fact that you, the one whom she wants, thought someone else was more beautiful can be devastating.
A man who does not have his lusts under control will expect his mate to be his personal quick fix leaving the woman disappointed in more ways than one because his lusts are out of control.
This is why it is a great idea for godly men to spend time in solitude without ANY interaction with a woman because it trains the flesh to be under subjection to the Spirit.
In doing this, upon entering marriage, going without intimacy, for whatever reason, will not be foreign to you. Remember in Genesis 2 that God had Adam all to himself and dwelt with Adam in the garden for quite some time before He brought Eve to him.
Unless a man is in school of some sort or building his business and the two partners have agreed that for a certain time period, it is best that she be the monetary provider, the godly man is the provider for his wife.
I'm not proposing that he must make more money, but he should at least be working a consistent job that has a future.
There is nothing more unattractive in society's eyes, a woman's eyes and God's eyes than a man who sits at home all day and allows his woman to support him.
The scripture is clear when it says in 1 Timothy 5:8, that,
"A man who does not provide for his family is WORSE than an unbeliever."
Now that's bad!!
In Genesis 2, we learn that before Eve was brought to Adam he had two jobs. He was taking care of the crops (v. 15) and naming animals (v. 19).
Proverbs 12:11 says, "He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment."
Proverbs 14:23 says, "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."
These verses would not be in scripture if this wasn't happening at the time.
Men, even back then, talked a good game about what's going to happen, but while they were "chasing fantasies" or just being lazy (see Proverbs 6:6-11), they put their mate in the position of provider.
1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge [understanding]"
Put this on your screen saver to remind yourself of this verse! Wow!
This wonderful verse has so many deep truths. It commands godly men to "dwell" with their mate because if you don't "dwell" with them, you cannot have the "understanding". Most men are easy to figure out. We're simple.
Women on the other hand, are much more complex and therefore Peter commands the men to "dwell" with our mates to gain "understanding". Men and women have different needs.
One need that a woman must have satisfied is the need for communication.
If she feels she cannot communicate with her mate then she struggles to make contact in other ways.
The number one reason why marriages do not succeed is due to communication problems.
I heard someone say that a woman is a walking marriage manual because if you communicate, she will tell you what the problem is. Notice that this command is given to the man because it is his responsibility to make sure he communicates with his mate, it usually comes naturally to the woman.
Sometimes communicating with your mate simply means being quiet and letting them do the talking.
Women need to express how their day went, or how they feel. Often times they may get on the phone with their girlfriends because the man is not interested in communicating with her. Regardless of how financially secure, attractive or even spiritual the man is, if he cannot dwell with his mate through communication to gain understanding, the fire will burn out quickly.
The Godly Man communicates with his mate daily.
A godly man is one who is willing to learn from his mate.
Women may have great ideas, but if their mate is a man who feels he is always right and not willing to listen to reason or new ideas, new ways to travel, new foods to eat, he is not humble.
Meekness is not weakness and a Godly man is strong, but humble.
Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise."
Proverbs 13:10: carries the same idea saying, "By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom."
Proverbs 29:1 reads, "A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed"
The scripture says, "God opposes the proud".
Proverbs 3:27-28 says,
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so. Do not say to your neighbour, go and come back and tomorrow I will give it, when you have it with you!"
Proverbs 11:24-25 reads,
"One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty".
Notice the word FREELY means without expecting ANYTHING in return.
The man who is much more interested in pleasing his mate in every way, according to God's word, will himself be refreshed.
The more he gives, the more he naturally gains in return without expecting it.
Many people have not caught on to the fact that when we are more concerned with the satisfaction and happiness of others rather than our own, they will be interested in your total satisfaction and it becomes a wonderful win-win situation.
The bible predicts in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 that there will come a time when, "men will be lovers of self, lovers of money...without self-control..."
1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife as to the weaker vessel."
Now at first glance we may think,
"Was Paul a chauvinist? Why would he say women were weaker than men."
This is not Paul's point at all.
He is simply saying that men should treat women "as if they were the weaker vessel" not that they "are the weaker vessel." This simply has to do with the quality of protection.
In saying that a woman needs to be protected, it is not saying that she walks around scared.
When it rains, although she may have 2 legs and an umbrella, she needs to be protected from that rain, so a godly man pulls the car around, even if it means he goes to the car without the umbrella and she uses it to walk ten steps from the door to the car. When it snows, she should be protected from the cold, so the godly man will get up and shovel the snow, so she is protected in bed from the snow.
When a family has two cars, the man should sacrifice and treat her as "the weaker vessel" and she should drive the more dependable car.
Did you see the end of Titanic?
That was a great display of protection.
As he froze to death by hanging on to the edge of the raft, she was protected because she was on top of the raft! When a Virtuous Woman is in the arms of a godly man she will always feel protected.
7. Independent Man
This may sound academic to some, but several marriages have been destroyed because of family loyalty superseding the loyalty of a man to his wife.
Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Something we need to note about this verse is the fact that at this time Adam and Eve didn't have any parents, so obviously this verse is in the text to set a precedent of the way things should be throughout history.
A woman does not wish to compete with a man's mother or sister.
A godly man loves his family, but understands that his loyalty, next to God, is to his mate first.
This portrait of a godly man gives the Virtuous Woman a portrait that should never be compromised under any circumstance. A godly man will have these qualities and many more, but these are pertinent to the happiness and fulfilment of the Virtuous Woman. She cannot fully operate as the Virtuous Woman with a mate who is selfish, proud, weak, lazy, out of control, etc.
We, as men, should strive to possess these qualities and many more and women should believe that they are worth spending the rest of their lives with a man who is willing to love and cherish them the way Christ loved the church.
It is time for Virtuous Women to stop compromising and settling and putting up with ungodly men.
Women must take a stand AGAINST these men.
Brothers, men, over the years have damaged the female psyche beyond belief. It is only the hope of Christ through godly men that can repair the damage that has been done. We are in debt to God and to our women to begin to repair that which WE have broken down. It starts with becoming a godly man. As women strive to become Proverbs 31 women, let us strive to become 1 Timothy 5:3 men which reads, "treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."